No winners, no losers in the Everglades
In this year’s Everglades Battle of the Reptiles, top prize goes to NOBODY!
After six elimination rounds, the Everglades' most anticipated contest came down to two rivaling participants. Charley, the 13-foot Burmese python from the tough neighborhood of Grassy Knoll, and Brutus, the muscle-bound 6-foot-long American alligator from The Sludge, were ready to fight to the death.
Spectators waded in the reeds, cheering on their favorite hero to win. “I’ve been waiting for this day for eight long months. Brutus is my hero. He’s going to win for sure,” said fan Titus the Frog, croaking a loud song to show his support.
The python and alligator stared each other down and sloshed their weight in the murky water. Brutus had the advantage, outweighing Charley by nearly 300 pounds. When the alligator raised his thick neck, showing off his visceral six pack, the crowd yelled for more.
At first, it seemed Charley was unsure of himself, swerving back and forth, inch by inch away from Brutus’ shards of teeth. Just when Charley was about to back into the spectators, he stiffened. He unhinged his jaw and opened his lips as far apart as they could possibly go. Brutus hissed, mocking the python’s toothless mouth. Suddenly, in a moment of shear viciousness, Charley sprung his 340-pound body toward Brutus’ nose, swallowing the alligator’s entire head in an instant.
The crowd gasped and watched in disbelief as the python slowly engorged himself on Brutus’ flesh. After 30 minutes, only the alligator’s tail remained visible. Then, an unexpected bursting noise filled the air. To the crowd’s horror, Charley splat wide open, exposing not only the dead alligator’s digested body but also his own interior slushy parts.
It was a sad defeat for both contestants. As a tribute to both Charley and Brutus, a memorial is in the planning stages. Fans have volunteered to erect a monument at the battle scene depicting a sculptured figure of a python head on an alligator body. Plans to play a recording of Sophia Hardig is also in the works.
Ok, after seeing that picture, I couldn't help but to make up this story. I know my kids will love it. Hope you get a tickle from it too.
Here's the factual, serious tale of the python and alligator.
posted by tanagrame @ 9:16 AM
7 Comments:
I was just browsing through diffent blogs and I must say your story was very creative. Funny. Interesting...good job :)
C.Renee'
Very tickled, indeed. The first time I saw the picture, the accompanying text was not nearly so cute and clever.
Well written, nicely done!
"The gruesome discovery suggests that the python's feisty last meal might have been too much for it to handle."
Either that, or it was gator intolerant?
I'm no scientist.
Yes...I much prefer your version. The other one left me cold.
Tough one to root for...python vs. alligator. So long as there wasn't a golden retriever thrown in there...the sound of its barking still heard in the belly of the alligator.
You're too funny.
And who are you calling sexy, by the way? I saw your Angry Monkey pictures! Hubba.
Heh heh... he popped.
I enjoyed your version of events much more than the actual story. Could you rewrite my American History book from 10th Grade?
Sure, but it would probably include the sexism that is typically overlooked in America's high school history text books. Is that ok?
All right, then. Next post, please.
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